Funny

Patni:Wo sharabi dekh rahe ho,10 sal pehle maine usse shadi k liye inkar kiya tha or wo aj tak pi raha hai. Pati:Wah itni lambi celebration.

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Santa: darling aaj barsat ka din hai, koi aisi romantic baat kaho ki mere pair jamin pe na rahe,
wife: darling fansi laga lo.

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Raju was walking through forestHe saw a snake hanging on the tree...Raju: Sirf latak ne se height nai badegi,Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye

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Ek Aadmi kabar par baitha tha. Musafir ne poocha - darr nahi lagta? Aadmi: Darney ki kya baat hai. andar garmi lag rahi thi to bahar aa gaya.

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Santa- Mujh se Wada Kar Ki Teri Biwi Ki Pahli Kiss Mujhe Lene Dega,
Banta- Wada, Par Meri Bhi Ek Shart Hai?
Santa- Bol kya?
Banta- Main Shadi Teri Bahan Se krunga.. Cust:Ye Bakra Kitne Ka H?

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Salesman:
500Rs
Cust: Itna Sasta?
Salesman:China Ka Hai
Koi Guarantee Nhi
Ho Sakta Hai Kal Se
Bhaukna Shuru Krde.

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Ganja-Going On Road,Bird Shits On Head
"Hey Bhagwan Ye Kya Hua?
Bhagwan-Bacha Tu itni Dhupme Ja Raha He,Maito Sirf Sunscreen Lotion Dala hai.

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Santa:Maine khat likha tha k meri shadi pr ana,tum q ni aye?
Banta:Mujhe khat nahi mila
Santa:Maine likha tha ki khat mile ya na mile tum zarur ana.

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When a Girl friend visit in hospital to meet u with flowers he says 'get well soon' & goes But When a True friend visit in hospital to meet u he sits near u & says 'yaar nurse pataka hai aram se thik hona.'

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Santa-"teri biwi tujhe bartan se marti hai phir bhi tu khush kaise hai?"
Banta-"jab uska nisana lag jata hai to wo khush, nahi lagne pe mai khush"

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apki yaad mein yeh dil tadapta raha, apki ek jhalak ko ye dil machalta raha, phiche mudkar dekha to ALLOUT chalu tha..

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Interviewer: what is your birth date? Sardar: 14th October Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu k pathe EVERY YEAR
SANTA MUJRA Dekne Gaya,
SariRat Dekha

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MujreWali Ne kaha
SAAB Humne Apko KHUSH kiya,
Ab Ap Hume KHUSH karo
SANTA Utha
Or NACHNE LAGA...

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BOY:Mujhse shaadi karogi..

GIRL:Kyaaa??

BOY:Achhi film hai Naa..

GIRL:Kutte K Bachhe..

BOY:Wat??

GIRL:Kitne cute hote hai na.

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Techr-active se pasive me badlo "bache jb sunsan jagho pe chale jate hai to hadso ko jnam dete hai".studnt-sunsan jagho pe hue hadse hi bacho ko jnam dete hai.

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Santa: Are yaar light chali gayi hai kamse kam fan to chalu kar do,
Banta: lo kar di na bewkufo jaisi baat, Santa: Kyo???
Banta: Fan chalu karunga to mombatti nahi bujh jayegi.

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Santa Singh tezi se daudta aaya aur clinic me daakhil hua, mujhe bacha lo doctor sahab, main marnewala hoon. Doctor: Tumhe kaise pata chala?
Santa Singh: Do saal pehle maine jeevanbhar kaam aanewala pen kharida tha, aaj wo achanak tut gaya.

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Biwi: suniye, aap ko dono me se kya jyada achcha lagta hai? meri khubsurti ya meri akalmandi?
Husband: mujhe to tumhari ye mazak kerne ki aadat sab se achchi lagti hai..!!!

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Do Dost ghar ja rahe the, Ekaek pehle ne dusre ko tamacha mara to dusre ne gaal shahlaate hue pucha "Bhai tumne mujhe tamacha kyon mara?"
Pehle ne jawab diya "Kyonki tumhare gaal pe makhkhi baithi thi", usi ko maarne k liye",
Dusre ne ek ghusa pehle ko zamaate hue kaha "Ye rahi uski shabaashi".

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1stSardar-Maine apni BIWI ko12th pass karaya,fir B.A.fir M.A.,uski Govt. job bi lagva di, Ab kya karu?2ndSardar-accha sa ladka dekh ke SHAADI KARDE.

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SANTA:Ur Son Is Dead
After Hearng dis. Santa Jumps Frm50th Flor
35Flr He Realizs:I Dont Hav Son
20Flr:I m Not Marrid
&
3rdFlr:SHIT I m Banta

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Ek admi apne dost ke ghar roz roz jata tha. Dost k bachche use chacha-chacha kehte the, to use bada achcha lagta tha. Achanak ek din bachche mama-mama bolne lage. Bhatejon se pucha ki kya ho gaya ? Bachcho ne saaf kiya ki jab aap aa rahe the, to papa ne mummi se kaha ki saalaa phir aa raha hai.

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Santa: ooji gaddi badi changi, hai kya naam hai is gaddi ka?
LADY: I don't remember the name but it starts with "T".
Santa: wahji apki gaddi to kamal ki hai jo TEA se shuru hoti hai. humari gaddi to petrol se hi start hoti hai.