Funny

Attendence-
Pappu Yes Sir
Bablu Yes Sir
Tinku Yes Sir
Ullu ?? Ullu ?? Ullu Button dabana band kar, teri baari hai, attendence lagwa.

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A khuda aaj barsat ho jaye, kam se kam ek katori pani bhar jaye,
Jo mujhe SMS na kare uska Mobile usme doob jaye,
Na rahega Phone...
Na bajegi Tone.....!

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Boy Friend: "tumhare ghar gaya tha, mujhe nahi lagta humari shadi ho payegi"
Girl Friend: "kyu mere papa se mile kya?"
Boy Friend: "nahi tumhari bahan se..!!!"

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Q: Aisi ki taisi kab hoti hai?
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Ans: Jab loose motion lagi hon aur pajame ki gaanth na khule.

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Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kar so ab,
Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kar so ab,
Abey karta hi rahega to dhoyega kab?

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Bandar ki beti apne papa se boli "papa mujhe shadi karni hai",
papa bole "abhi thoda intezar karo dulha abhi SMS pad rahai hai"

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Laloo goes 2 a shop n asks: "Ye Bandarva ka Photu kitne ka hai re..?"
Shopkeeper: "wo phutva nahi saheb" Wo to Seesa hai...!

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Socha tha har mod pe tumhara intezaar karenge, par kambakt sadak hi seedhi nikli

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Galib ek din bewafa premika k ghar k bahar su-su karte pakda gaya or bola:
''tere pyar me yu dukhi hai galib, ki ansu bhi niklte hai raste badal badal kar'!

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Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain? Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai. Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte

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Similarity between Gandhiji, Salmaan khan & Mallika? Dono ne apne kapde tyag diye, Gandhi Ji ne Desh k liye, Salmaan ne Aish k liye aur Mallika ne Cash k liye.

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Ek car se tota takra k behosh ho gaya,
1 admi tota ko ghar le gaya, pinzre me rakha, khana diya. tab tota jag k bola- AAILA JAIL? car ka driver mar gaya kya ???

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Ye Kiss Tarah Yaad Aa Rahe Ho, Aankhe Band Hai Phir Bhi Nazar Aa Rahe Ho, Naa Jane Kyon Aisa Lagta Hai, Saamne Khade Ho, Aur SING HILA RAHE HO!! Happy POLA!!!

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Aap Dil mango, de denge!
DHADKAN mango, de denge!
JIGAR mango, de denge!
JAAN tak manglo, to de sakte hain
kyounki charo film ki VCD ghar par pari hai!

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Baap: Beta is bar exam main tujhe 90% lane hai, kuch bhi kar..
Beta: Nahi Bapu, main to is bar 100% launga...!
Baap: Kyon Mazak kar raha hai..?
Beta: Shuru kisne kiya..?!!

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Kanjus baap beta se: kaha gaya tha?
Beta: Girl friend k sath tha!
Baap gusse se: kitna kharcha kiya?
Beta: 250/-
Baap: 250/-!
Beta: us k pass itna hi tha!

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Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey

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Sardar on phone “Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now”.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking. - Jolly Uncle

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Train ruki to ek aadmi ne khidki k pass baithe sardar se pucha- kaun sa Station hai?
sardar bahar dekh kar kuch der soch kar bola- "Railway Station"

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Santa- 'sala kal raat 3 ghanta picture ki CD dekhi, na kuch scenes dikaha na awaz sunai di'
Banta- 'movie ka naam kya tha?'
Santa- 'NO DISC INSERTED'

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Ladka shadi ke liye Ladki dekhne gaya, usse akele me baat karte hue-
Ladki(darte darte)- "bhaiya aap kitne bhai bahan ho?"
Ladka- "abhi tak to 3 the ab 4 ho gaye".

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Humko tumse pyar hai,
Jiya bekarar hai, Aaja mera Bulbul...
Tera Intezer hai!! Yeh mera nahi... Aapke liye Central Zoo me rehnawale Aap k Doston ki Fariyad Hai!!